Young and Beautiful
by Browny Pink
Summary: Rose finally found him. Those years of searching hadn't been in vain. AU-ish, pre-Journey's End. A final goodbye for the Doctor and Rose. Sad and Angsty. Reviews appreciated.


_**A/N: Well, here we are. I knew this day was a long time coming: my first Doctor Who fic. That being said please take note that this takes place in a different universe.. sort of.. not Pete's world.. I'm not explaining this well. This fic is pre-Journey's End and pre-Martha. Basically, Rose never got to come back to the original universe.. Anyways, just read; it's pretty self-explanatory.**_

**_Be warned though, it's a pretty angsty fic. I was listening to Lana Del Ray's "Young and Beautiful" when I got the idea for it. Hopefully my next fic will be a happier one. _**

**_That said, let me reiterate - This is my first Doctor Who fic. Also my first present tense fic. I would really appreciate reviews and tips on how to better my writing and potrayal of the characters. Let me know what you liked and didn't like, etc. ect._**

**_Enjoy!.. Er.. Sort of?_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own the Doctor Who or anything else really..._**

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She feels so tired.

Currently, she is sitting at a table in a restraunt of some back water planet millions of miles from earth, sipping a purplish liquid with a mild tang - she has given up asking what these things are long ago - and half-heartedly picking at a basket of chips. This time she had been so close - so, so close.

Arriving just a few hundred feet away, her heart had sung at the sight of that lovely blue box, just as she had remembered. However, she hadn't moved quick enough. All she saw was a swatch of brown trench coat, and then he was gone, the door to the TARDIS closing behind him. At that moment, panic swelling in her chest, she had pushed herself to move faster and tried to call out to him, but her voice had been hoarse - it always is when she uses her vortex manipulator. As that oh so familiar whirring noise sounded and the old girl phased out of sight, the girl had sunk to her knees, tears shimmering in her eyes. After she had collected herself, she had headed into town, wanting to try and find out if anyone knew where her beloved Doctor was going as unlikely as it was. First, she had needed something to drink and a bit of food, which led her to where she was now.

For so many years - she has lost count by now - she has been trying to reach him. Still yet, she knows she will continue searching for him until she finds him, and she never once doubts that she _will _find him. It is an absolute in her universe. If it is the last thing she does - _and it very well may be,_ comes to mind as she catches her reflection on her glass cup, the image partially distorted - she is going to see him one last time.

Tilting it this way and that, she continues studying her reflection in the glass. She is no longer the young blonde - or _a _blonde period - she once was. The proof is in the lines around her eyes and mouth, the dull grey of her hair - the pallor of her skin.

Anxiety coiling in the pit of her stomach, as it often does when she begins this thought process, she wonders if the Doctor will recognize her when she finds him. Surely he will, right? Not only because it has only been a little over six years for him - the time difference in their universes continues to baffle her - but also because he cares about her. In fact, she is certain that he had been int eh process of telling her he loved her that day at Badwolf Bay. No, he _will never_ forget her. That's just not something he'd do. Still, those niggling doubts persist from time to time.

Sighing heavily, she places the cup back on the table and eats another chip.

After she checks her watch, she realizes that she still has another half hour before the vortex manipulator will be ready to jump again. It is times like this when she really wishes she owned one like Jack had, seeing as he never needed to wait for it to recharge or anything. At least, she thinks he didn't. However, she knows she is lucky to have one at all. It had taken Torchwood years in the other universe to build one that functioned properly, and that is to say, one that wouldn't leave the user inside out when he or she landed. She grimaces as she remembers those early tests. Thankfully, no living subjects were used.

That is one thing she had always insisted on. If she worked for them, lending her knowledge and experiences, then they wouldn't be allowed to harm anyone or anything in the process of creating new technologies. She had known the Doctor would never approve of such things, and she liked to think he would be proud to see her standing against it too.

At this moment, a wave of pain washes over her. Memories of both the Doctor _and_ her friends and family in the other universe - all of them except her little brother had passed away by now - replaying in her head. Despite all the sorrows she bares now, she remembers so many of the good times too: her parents' re-marrige - Mom had demanded another wedding, one where Dad got her name right this time - the birth of her little brother, the completion of the device that would send her back to this universe...

Her brother hadn't understood why she had needed to do this, to come back to her original universe. He didn't know the Doctor though. If he did... maybe he would have. Sure, they had raised him on the stories, but to him that's all they were - just stories. She had left him in that other universe years ago.

And she still hasn't found the Doctor.

This greatly disheartens her. It had turned out getting back had only been half the battle. Certaintly, she had known the Doctor wouldn't just _be there _when she landed. It wasn't probable, but she hadn't expected her search for him to be quite so ... long. Then again, she hadn't expected it to take her over forty years to get back to her universe.

She sits there stewing in those bleak thoughts when she hears it: that familiar whirring. '_He came back?' _is the first thought that pops into her head. It seems unlikely, but she can't find it within herself to care. And, she is already out of her seat and heading for the source of the noise.

Once she rounds the corner of the restraunt, she finds herself less than twenty feet away from the TARDIS. A cry of both disbelief and joy escapes her throat, tears of joy welling in her eyes. She presses her hands against her mouth as her eyes continuously wander over the beautiful blue box, lingering on the 'Public Police Box' sign. As she stands, the first real smile in a long time on her face, the door swings open. She gasps then holds her breath.

It's him.

It's really him, and he looks exactly as she remembers - though she never thought she would forget anyways. He still wears brown pinstripes and dirty white converse with that amazingly ridiculous trench coat, and his hair - oh, his hair - is still just as gorgeously messy as she remembers. All of it, just as she remembers.

Finally, her gaze falls to his face. He is staring at her with wide eyes and raised eyebrows, mouth opening and closing, as though he cannot believe she exists. She suppose that she really shouldn't, at least, not in this universe. Badwolf Bay was supposed to have been their finale goodbye. He'd even told her that she couldn't ever see him again.

Truthfully, she is more than a little shocked herself to see him right in front of her, and she briefly fears he will disappear, that he is nothing more than a cruel hallucination. When this thought comes unbidden, she feels the need to touch him, to ascertain his existance. Stepping carefully, her eyes never leaving his face, she closes the distance between them. As she raises her hand, she notices it shaking and can't discern whether it's her nerves, her age, or excitement. Gently, she lays it against his cheek and then quickly brings the other hand up to the other side of his face, smoothing her thumbs over the skin there.

"Rose," he whispers, both a question and a statement. She hears his disbelief and sadness, but hope overshadows them both. Hope that this is real perhaps? She can relate.

Another soft smile pulls at her mouth. "My Doctor," is all she says in response.

But it's enough.

He smiles, and for a brief moment, she thinks she spots tears in his eyes. However, he pulls her into a crushing hug before she can really tell. She throws her arms around his neck and buries her face into his shoulder, breathing deeply. He still smells the same, like tea and a grease and some other sweet scent she can never identify - she's pretty sure that is what time itself smells like - and it is all too perfect as his arms tighten around her.

Perfection has never really been apart of her future though, and she knows something is wrong. Her chest begins throbbing quite badly, and she begins to panic, digging her fingers into the fabric of his trench coat. Unable to support her anymore, her legs wobble once and collapse completely under her. Her eyes widen, and she holds on for dear life as she slides to the ground.

"Rose? Rose, what's wrong," the Doctor cries, sliding down to the ground with her, moving his hands to keep her sitting up.

Her breaths are not coming like they are supposed to now. Instead of long and steady, they come in quick gasps. Fearfully, she meets his gaze and manages to get out, "My heart." The edges of her vision start to turn fuzzy, and all she really wants now is a nap. She tries to close her eyes, but the Doctor is shouting now. And, it's been so long since they've been together, and she just really wants to see him, to just look at him.

Her search hasn't been pointless. She'd _found_ him.

"Rose," he begs, "no, no, no! Please, you can't." He takes a deep breath. "You can't do this to me; it's not ... I won't let you!"

Then, he stands up, pulling her up with him. Looping an arm around her waist, he tosses one of her arms over his shoulder and half drags, half carries, her into the TARDIS. Despite the pain in her chest, she feels happiness swell within her as the familiar hum of the old girl fills her. She feels like she's finally home.

As quickly as he can without hurting her, he leads her to the infirmary and helps her lay down on the bed there. A pained cry escapes her lips before she can smother it when another pained jolt travels through her chest. Even though she knows it will do little good, she clutches at the source of pain with her hands, her fingernails curling into the fabric of her shirt.

The Doctor is there in an instant with some sort of instrument she can't properly identify in his hand. "Rose, I need you to stay with me. Okay? Can you do that for me?"

Smiling wanly, she reaches out to his free hand and grasps it with what little strength she has left. " S'pose I could stay for a bit," she tells him.

Hearing this, he shakes his head vehemently. "No, not just a minute," he denies. "Rose Tyler, you once promised me forever. Remember? I want you to remember that promise now. Please." The last part was quiet. "I can save you. I know I can," he continues, gripping her hand more tightly with every word. "You just have to let me save you. Just hold on a little longer."

A few tears spill out of her eyes, and she shakes her head sadly, pushing herself into a sitting position, albeit slowly. "Doctor, I've lived a long life now. Alot longer than most people. I think it's time for me to go now." She exhales shakily. The expression on the Doctor's face breaks her heart, but she knows she is dying now. It's not exactly like she could hide it from him.

"But, you just got back." His eyes were watering too. "There are- there are ways we could extend your life. We could still go on adventures together. You know, afterwords."

Again she shakes her head, fighting off a dizzy spell. There are still things that need to be said, and she's going to make sure they are said no matter the cost. "Look at me, Doctor," she gestures to her face. "I'm so old now, a bit too old for adventures now." He began to speak, but she raised her hand, cutting him off. "And 'fore you suggest it again, m'not gonna do anything to make me live longer than I'm spossed to. I don't wanna end up like Cassandra."

She sees the moment defeat registers in his mind, and it looks so out of place on him that she almost takes back what she said and lets him do whatever he wants. But, she knows in her heart it wouldn't be right to do that, and deep down, he knows it too.

"So that's it then?" he asks, sounding broken.

"Doctor, I've spent my whole life trying to get back to you, and I did it." A happy sob escapes her throat. "I finally found you." Her heart is racing now and with every beat the pain increases. She knows she has no time to waste, and she needs to hear one thing from him before she goes. "Doctor," she raises her free hand to his face, feeling the skin there, " my Doctor.. I love you."

The colour drains from his skin, and she knows he realizes that her time is up. He sniffs and a tear leaks from his eye. Setting the instrument down, he tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. "Rose Marion Tyler, my beautiful, smart, perfect human," he begins, and she wonders he has somehow slowed time down. After all, he is a Time Lord. But, then he speaks again and time starts back. "I love you."

Hearing this, although the pain is still there, it feels as though a weight has been lifted from her chest and her heart sings. This is what she had always wanted to hear him say. More tears fall down her cheeks, but she is smiling so much it hurts. Blackness curls around the edges of her vision, and she lays back down.

As the last of her consciousness fades, she feels the Doctor's hand in her's and him pressing his forehead against her own.

The End

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_**A/N: So there it is... Sorry guys, I've been sad lately so I guess I want you to be too... Also I just watched that Doomsday again so... You know, probably didn't help. **_

_**Thanks for reading! Please review and favorite! All comments and critiques welcome. **_

_**ONWARD!**_

_**-Alyssa**_


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